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How to Masturbate in Public (Without Getting Caught)
If you’re reading this know what you’re probably thinking, “Is this a joke?” But it’s not. Personally, I think it should be discussed more. I’m not here to condone getting caught masturbating in public or any other fetishes that can come along with it.
I’m here to discuss seriously masturbating when you really need to get off, even if you are in public. Not only that, but I know that I’ve personally done it a time or two, and I’m sure you have too. Because sometimes you just can’t help yourself.
So let’s get into it.
How to Masturbate in Public
Be Quiet
If you’re trying to get away with masturbating in public you shouldn’t be moaning or breathing heavily. Be as quiet as you possibly can be — depending on where you’re at, so that no one can hear you.
Obviously, if you’re in the middle of nowhere like on a hike, and you don’t think anyone is around you can do whatever you want. But if there are people around, do yourself a favor and don’t.
Be Discreet
One time I masturbated while I was on a public bus and there was a guy sitting right next to me. He had no idea that my hand was in my pants and I was daydreaming about this guy in a band while I was touching myself. No inclination whatsoever.
So if you’re going for the real public masturbation and there’s a ton of people around, be discreet. Lewd Conduct is a real thing and you do not want that. Go in your car if you have to or a public restroom.
Be Quick
I think for me when I feel the need to masturbate in public it’s because I really can’t wait until I get home. There’s just this urge that’s inside me I need to fulfill immediately.
That being said, this is all about the quickie. Getting in and out. You have to be quick and vigilant. Thank god for pocket vibrators.
Spice it up a bit. Life is hard and shouldn’t be taken too seriously all the time. If you’re out in the fresh air and no one is around, you be you.
I wish that as a society in America we would finally normalize masturbation. It’s something that nearly everyone does but not many people are comfortable talking about. Whether you do it public or private, it’s a normal human activity and should be treated as such. This is just another way to get the conversation started.
